Let’s discuss this one of the most important topics “to every brave woman who left her violent partner”. When it comes to leaving an abusive relationship, everyone talks about it like it is the easiest thing to do.
I want you to know that it does not matter that it took you so long to work up the courage to leave.
It is okay if you went back there multiple times after he lured you in with his lies that broke you.
You are the only one who knows how painful and humiliating it was to hear him tell you that you are ugly and unworthy.
Telling you that you could not leave because you could not survive without him.
Telling yourself that no one would want you, for fear that someone will treat you better.
Making fun of you for thinking you can live without him, when in fact it was he who was afraid of losing you, and he who needed you.
Being in an abusive relationship fundamentally changes you in ways that are hard even to describe.
It is very painful and you become a different person without even realizing what is going on.
These hateful relationships and despicable partners are gradually destroying you from within.
You slowly feel exhausted…until one day there is nothing. You are exhausted and numb.
You become desensitized to the world, desensitized to emotions, and you stop caring about yourself and what happens to you.
What you are going through is so painful that you do not care what is going to happen and how it is going to end.
You just need it to stop.
Here is a limit to the pain a person can bear and no matter what you did and how you did to deal with the abusive nature of your partner, anything is okay.
Whatever hard choices you had to make to get through it, you can be proud of yourself today, and those choices are in no way a reflection of you as a person.
They are simply the result of continued abuse by a vicious man who had no right to do to you what he did to you.
If you have been there, know that there’s nothing wrong with that. You got away with it.
You stayed in one piece and for now, that is all that matters.
No matter what you had to resort to getting out of it, it does not matter.
It got you through it and that is something not many people can say, so be proud of yourself.
It takes time to learn to forget what he put you through and what he made you.
It takes time to rebuild and start from scratch.
It is normal to feel lost right now. It is normal to feel weak and even miss this person at times.
Even if it was the worst of loves… feelings still need time to fade.
It will take time for you to become yourself again.
Before you can look in the mirror and recognize the woman you are.
For so long you have relied on the most destructive kind of love that right now you don’t know how to live without it.
Don’t feel like there’s anything wrong with you feeling like this.
There is no best technique to deal with abuse. Let yourself go at the pace that suits you.
Do not feel bad for expecting he may change.
I know that is probably why you stayed so long, but I also know it is okay.
You trust people, even when they don’t deserve it, and that is not something to be ashamed of.
You are so strong.
First, for enduring it all, second for surviving the violence, and only you know exactly how brutal it was, and finally, for walking away.
The strength it took you to get through this shows how tough and resilient you are.
You stayed this long because you believed in it.
You wanted to believe that things would get better. You needed to believe he would get the assistance he wanted.
You desperately wanted to believe that he would never resort to violence again…but when you realized your hopes were in vain, you did the hardest thing: you left.
And wherever you are in your healing, know that I am proud of you. You did the right thing.
You have been brave. And for that, you deserve all the praise and comfort in the world.
There will be days so dark that you won’t have the strength to get up.
There will be days when you question yourself and doubt your choices.
There will be obstacles on your healing journey and during these times remember what you have done.
Remember how strong and brave you had to be and be proud of yourself!
The pain you are feeling right now is proof that you are on the verge of taking your life back.
And with every step you take, you are letting go of the hurt it left behind and regaining control of your life.